A Republican Manifesto: Beware the Suntanned Socialist

According to Rush Limbaugh, Donald Trump, Michele Bachmann, Jim DeMint and many other prominent political “experts,” Barack Hussein Obama, leader of the “Democrat” party, not only fails to qualify as an American citizen, but he is also a card carrying Socialist.  Even John Sununu reluctantly admitted that Obama did not know how to be an American.  Despite moderating many of the extreme left wing policies of Nancy Pelosi and other impatient and overly emotional Democrats, despite trying to purposely avoid enacting socialized medicine and even instructing colleagues to abandon the Public Option, Mr. Obama is a “Socialist.”  He is, obviously, at present, “the most dangerous threat to the American way of life.”  Just ask John Boehner.  Is he not an honorable man?  Just ask Mitch McConnell.  Is he not an honorable man?

Barack Hussein Obama is apparently so dangerous to the American way of life, that defeating  him is more important than saving the economy, creating jobs, educating our children, protecting our streets from crime, our houses and businesses from fire, repairing the crumbling infrastructure or even curing cancer!  Is it not quite  obviously the most important thing in the whole world to defeat that damn Ni....., uh... “Socialist?”   It is so simple, in fact.  Can’t  you see?  His defeat is all that is needed to resurrect the economy, to insure our military security and to bring back the Lord, our Savior, to redeem the very soul of our nation.  Not only will it bring back prosperity to the country, but it will rid us of the threat of Sharia law and the insidious Muslim infiltration into our sacred way of life!  His defeat could somehow save the whole universe!  And while we’re at it we should also eliminate other vicious “Socialists” like Colin Powell, Condy Rice, Michael Steele and even Allen West and Clarence Thomas.  Those SOBs’ dark suntans can’t fool us!  While pretending to be  conservatives, clearly all those Africans are closet “Socialists.”  Their suntanned complexions betray their true motives.  Wannabe Socialists like Bernie Sanders are just pale Jewish left-wing nuts looking for attention.   Even though people like Sanders are heretics, at least they are real American citizens They don’t possess the necessary skin pigmentation to be true “Socialists.”  True “Socialists” must be devious and insidious panhandlers asking for minor assistance for schools, job programs or welfare for the undeserving disabled or destitute, while secretly trying to pillage the hard earned government subsidies of banks and rich corporations.  They are people that don’t want to earn their welfare checks by lobbying the way we do!  They can’t possibly understand  what it is to be  true Americans like Rush Limbaugh, Pastor Terry Jones or former Louisiana Klan Representative David Duke. 

The obvious assault by “those people” on corporate welfare is a clear and totally unacceptable effrontery to the sacred “American way of life” as we know it!  The nerve of “those people” sneaking a foreigner, a Muslim and a “Socialist” at that, into our White White House!  The man must be defeated no matter what the cost!  Billions of dollars in campaign donations, robbing citizens of the right to vote, destroying public education, even bribing a Supreme Court Justice through his lobbyist wife are all “fair play” in this, the most holy of all wars!  Don’t worry, loyal followers.  Whatever lies we speak will be forgiven.  Whatever damage we cause will be repaired.  God is on our side!  If you don’t believe me, just ask Limbaugh, Boehner, McConnell, Trump, Bachmann, or the party’s newest political “expert” and historian, Mitt Romney!  Just ask one of them, for is not every one of them an “honorable man” or woman? Would they lie????

Al Finkelstein   7/20/12