F___ing Morons

August 20, 2009

We would like to thank President Bush, Herrs Cheney and Rumsfeld, friends Wolfowicz, Franks, the Republican National Committee, the AMA, AOA, various medical associations, Blackwater International and Halliburton for their kind assistance in protecting us from Saddam Hussein and his “Merry Men,” and from thousands of Afghan drug addicts. The danger of all those Afghans in their bathrobes and sandals overrunning our bathrooms and insulting our fashion industry just sends chills down our spines. The idea of those ingenious Iraqi sailors transporting those huge raw uranium atomic bombs in their clipper ships, blowing up New York City, makes us shudder!

It was well worth the 2-3-4 trillion dollars to attack those two medieval countries, those f___ing peasants should know better than to tangle with the largest, most powerful Christian nation in the world! This is a f___ing crusade, folks, and God is on our side! Whatever it takes, we’ll get the job done!

What’s a few trillion dollars donated by the Social Security system to the brave men and women of Halliburton, Exxon Mobil, Blackwater International, or to the 200,000 “patriotic” carpetbaggers “we” still proudly support in Iraq. The senior citizens of our country who selflessly served before and saved us from Nazi and Communist oppression will certainly appreciate this momentous opportunity to save us, again, from… from…. Terrorism?

F___ cancer research, f___ the teachers, firefighters, policemen and the entire infrastructure of our country. In fact, f___ our Armed Forces. Is it not their duty to serve us, the “American people” and our leaders? Our leaders do represent us, the “American Public,” do they not? Not!!!!!!

At this time, we would like to express our gratitude to all of these Bush/Cheney apologists, brilliant journalists and other “fellow travelers,” for their invaluable assistance in combating the world’s number one health problem: overpopulation! Your heroic war efforts to divert billions and billions of dollars away from cancer research and financial support for “unaborted” babies are beyond description. The fact that these wars are f___ing needless, does not obscure the fact that you were all acting in the altruistic interests of the “American People.” We understand that greed, political gain, fame and even laziness did not enter into your thoughts and deeds. For this, we thank you all!

Signed Posthumously (X),

X  R.F. mother - died of biliary/breast cancer Age 69

X S.S. aunt- died of breast cancer Age 68

X D.A. cousin- died of leukemia Age 40

X R.P. grandmother- died of stomach cancer Age 85

X M.D. mother in law- died of liver cancer Age 86

X L.D. sister in law- died of liver cancer Age 69

X J.M. grandfather- died of colon cancer Age 50

X C.M. grandmother- died of stomach cancer Age 50


And the list goes on and on...

We cannot list all of the millions of authors who have contributed to this heartfelt thank-you, but rest assured, someday, in some way you will meet with every last one of them. At that time, they can personally thank you for your unselfish support. In the meantime, don’t we all agree: “Down with Cancer Research??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Allen Finkelstein, D.O.