U.S. Congressional Session: Bipartisanship in Action


Speaker: This session is officially called to order.  The Chair recognizes Congressman Scheisskopf.

Congressman Scheisskopf: I object to the fact that a bill as comprehensive and expensive as Part D of Medicare was passed in the Senate by reconciliation.  Furthermore, I object to the fact that it was passed in both Houses without funding and simply tacked onto the national debt.  I object to the fact that the bill was ghost-written by PHRMA, the Pharmaceutical lobby, and that this year they have already paid supposed  co-author, ex-Congressman Billy Tauzin two million dollars as the new president of their lobby.  I object to the fact that the bill prohibits the Medicare members from engaging in competitive bidding, resulting in one hundred to two hundred percent higher prices for drugs.  I object to the obvious violation of the Fourteenth Amendment by denying the Seniors the same right as every other citizen or agency to negotiate fair prices for prescription drugs.  I strongly recommend indictment by this body, of Mr. Tauzin, for accepting a bribe from Phrma and associated conspirators in an effort to deprive American citizens of their rights.

Furthermore, I move that we allow the import and purchase of drugs from our Canadian neighbors.

Congressman Horhaus: Congressman Scheisskopf, may I have ninety seconds of your time?

Congressman Scheisskopf: I yield the floor to Congressman Horhaus.

Congressman Horhaus: Ignoring the undeserved insults to my dear colleague, Mr. Tauzin, we Republicans have brought great peace of mind to millions of Seniors who would not have been able to purchase needed medications without Part D.  What's more, the pharmaceutical companies deserve to make a fair profit.  As to buying Canadian drugs, who will vouch for their quality?

Congressman Simplista: Congressman Scheisskopf, may I have two minutes of your time, please?

Congressman Scheisskopf: I yield two minutes of my time to Congressman Simplista. 

Congressman Simplista: With all due respect to both of my learned colleagues, if I am not mistaken, Congressman Scheisskopf, you and the rest of our Democratic colleagues have tabled and stonewalled Congressman Horhaus's 2003 bill which gradually introduces competitive bidding into Medicare's purchase of durable goods, oxygen products and bloodwork.  By my estimate, it will take at least another eight to ten years for the Part D scam's overpayments to reach the dizzying heights of the durable goods, oxygen and lab overpayments.  By that time, I would guess, Republicans and Democrats will have contributed equally in their attempts to bankrupt Medicare.  In loyal defense of my party, I must admit, at least, that we were not so foolish as  to put our sins in writing!

Thus, Congressman Scheisskopf, may I remind you that there are but thirty two million citizens in the nation of Canada.  They would have a hard time, I think, supplying even California's thirty seven million people with prescription drugs.  Never mind that the Canadian government does not appreciate the idea of subsidizing pharmaceuticals for another government so incompetent that it cannot negotiate prices for itself.  Perhaps we should send a Congressional delegation from the House and Senate to the University of Toronto, where they have special education professors who can tutor them in remedial competitive bidding.

Meanwhile, Congressman Horhaus, Congressman Scheiskopf, in the spirit of bipartisanship, may I suggest that we pass a bill allowing all citizens, Medicare, Medicaid, government agencies, Tricare and the man on the street, to purchase medications through the Veterans Administration where prices average sixty percent less than Medicare's prices?  You see, with a paltry four million members and a few leaders who actually attended their highschool classes, they managed to secure medication prices even lower than Canada- on drugs already in the United States.

Speaker: Do I hear a motion?

Congressmen Scheisskopf, Horhaus, Ruffiano, Procuro, Chulo, Bilder, Peste, Pasak, Babillon and Mamon (all in one voice): I move to censure Congressman Simplista!

Scores of Congressmen in one voice: Second!!!!

Speaker: All in favor!

Chorus of hundreds: Aye!

Speaker: All opposed!

Congressmen Kucinich, Weiner and a handful of stragglers: Nay.

Rahm Emanuel:  Didn't I tell you, Mr. President, bipartisanship is not dead!


Allen Finkelstein, D.O.               3/17/10