That Wonderful World- Part III (Dark Humor Interlude)

Doctor Strangelove or How I Learned to Love the Patriot Act

October 15, 2008

I hated the Patriot Act when it was created- a small minded step by small minded politicians, a giant step for a diabolically evil and fascist administration. I hated the way the act was used to violate “guaranteed” Constitutional and “Human” rights.

Then, the financial collapse occurred and I agonized over the failure of an administration dedicated to the unbridled accumulation of wealth and power without any idea in the world concerning how to use that wealth and power. Then it hit me! How could a new administration raise the fallen stock market and the economy out of the ashes into a new world of financial success? How could a new administration begin to hunt down and punish the offenders who had put us in this intolerable position? That’s when I began to really appreciate the Patriot Act!

The new administration could first demand the return of stolen assets in Swiss Banks to all appropriate victims of the Holocaust, not only Jews, but to murdered Russians, Poles, and to the millions of victims and families of all origins! Not a measly 10%, but every penny plus interest! In this country, every Swiss account would be seized: Swiss assets, Swiss watches, Swiss chocolate, Swiss Cheese, everything Swiss!

All Swiss secret bank accounts would be opened. Any American with a Swiss Bank Account, not registering and opening his information to the government, would be arrested and jailed for contempt under the glorious Patriot Act. Trillions of dollars recovered from these undeserving Nazi collaborators could be returned to proper circulation in the light of day. There they could help restore the U.S. and World Markets.

The “Oligarchs” would be exposed for the creatures they are. The Cheneys and Rumsfelds and Paulsons, the evil CEOs and stock manipulators would have to answer for their machinations, for their crimes against humanity! Thank God for that wonderful Patriot Act!!!

Allen Finkelstein, D.O.