Dead Weight (Original Unedited Version)

September 29, 2008

Oh, I’m not angry. Mr. Boehner, House Republican Leader, is angry! Nancy Pelosi, the admittedly incompetent House Speaker insulted Boehner’s fellow Republican martyrs and they failed to bail out the economy. The Republicans are angry because they don’t want any regulation of their free market. This problem, this little problem of the 2nd collapse of the World’s stock markets, of the neutralization and destruction of virtually all of Roosevelt’s safeguards of the economy, is not important enough, I guess.

I have nothing to be angry about. While I, like many of my fellow Americans, lose my ass, the Republican Congress is sulking. You’ve heard of NeoConservatives and NeoLiberals, now we have NeoMartyrs. I thought these noble servants of God were supposed to sacrifice themselves for the good of mankind, that is as soon as they get over being insulted.

Well, I’m, admittedly, not a martyr, but I’m insulted too! I’m insulted because a bunch of selfish brats, including Georgie Porgie didn’t want any regulation of the market, of insurance, speculators, lenders, credit card companies, privateers, the Justice Department or the Vice President’s Office.

I’m not angry over a Justice Department in which Gonzo the Goon employs Attorney Monica Goodling, recent mail order graduate of the Oral Roberts School for Christian Asexual Prostitution (whose motto is "Let us screw you over and you'll be saved!"). Easy now, no sex here- it’s prostitution of the soul- selling salvation. It’s OK!

I’m not even angry over Georgie’s failure to protect his little kindom from the 9/11 attack. I’m not angry, after reading the 9/11 report, when I realize that even Sarah Palin could have prevented the attack if she were President. I’m not angry when I remember Georgie hiring Mr. Alpaugh, his incompetent campaign manager, to run FEMA, having to fire him so he could hire the less incompetent Mr. Brown. He had to hire someone slightly more competent so he could blame his own failures on the poor man.

I’m not angry over Iraq. Georgie forgot to read about Charlie Wilson’s War (he was waiting for the movie)- you know, the Soviet’s war in Afghanistan that bankrupted them! I’m not angry over the way I had to rage against our Iraqi spending debacle to no avail- Georgie started it anyway, and Georgie doesn’t start a war unless he plans to stay there as long as possible. You see, it takes a number of years to design a weapon system, collect your money from the Pentagon, spend roughly one third of the money and wait until the system is obsolete, so you can keep all of that extra “free money.” That is why they call it the “Free Money System,” isn’t it? Or is that the “Free Market System?”

I’m not angry that Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson presented a 3-page insult to Congress and called it a “Bailout.” It’s Congress and the American people who should be insulted, knowing that Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke, an Ivy League economist, undoubtedly has at least a few hundred pages of anticipated questions and answers relating to the 3 pages handed to Congress. Bernanke, whose reputation and future rest with the “Bailout,” does not have the personal fortune of some 600 million dollars that Paulson is so desperately trying to protect. Paulson represents those creatures that caused the problem and he would like another blank check for his mentally challenged employer.

I’m not angry over the Democratic Congress and their Presidential candidate failing to ask for the impeachment or, at least, the investigation of Georgie Porgie and Cheney and Rove and other Republican perverts (no sex here- take it easy, same school as Monica Goodling). One good thing, watching Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac unfold, it becomes obvious that like crap floats, many poor, hard working, “innocent” Democrats would rise to the surface and would have to resign, much as a dozen of their counterparts were forced to resign during the Clinton impeachment fiasco. “Ain’t edication” wonderful?

Oh, I’m not angry… well, not quite as angry, now that I’ve gotten a little of this dead weight off my chest, but I’d be even less angry if we could get some of the really dead weight out of Washington, like Pelosi and Boehner.  Between Democrats and Republicans, there really is a huge brain trust.  I believe in my heart that the “Bailout” can not only be saved but vastly improved if bipartisanship can finally be achieved.

Allen Finkelstein, D.O.