Blind Injustice: Lying to a Federal Incompetent

 August 17, 2010 


I can remember about a dozen years ago; a president lied to a federal(special) prosecutor about a civil “faux pas” concerning “sort of sex” between consenting adults.  All hell broke loose, as I recall and millions of taxpayer dollars were utterly wasted.  A U.S. president was indicted on one count of stupidity and multiple counts of lying to a special prosecutor about something that was not a crime at all.  Eric Holder and Patrick Fitzgerald, career “pretty boys,” were apparently paying no attention as they preened their handsome features in front of their mirrors.  They didn’t seem to notice all of those millions of dollars and even more valuable hundreds of hours spent by worthless congressmen and senators in a fruitless effort to convict their president of premeditated, first degree oral sex with a consenting adult!

The problem, of course, was the crime.  The all too eager “gridlockers” forgot to prosecute their prey for the crime of “lying to a federal prosecutor.”  Despite the lame admonitions by legitimate, well meaning legal scholars like Jonathan Turley, Nobody in the real world seems to really care about “lying to a federal prosecutor” unless it is about something that is actually important!  Thus the president was indicted but not convicted of his heinous misstep.

Incompetent prosecutors like those of the Clinton administration and ultra-incompetents of the Junior Bush fiasco could win verdicts only through subornation of perjury and withholding evidence.  Even fairly honest incompetents like Patrick Fitzgerald could not escape, entirely, the curse of these “Justice Departments.”  Instead of going after Dick Cheney, under pressure from his bosses, he went after Scooter Libby, a poor schmendrick, trying valiantly to protect his beloved boss’s reputation.  Like the previous president, the new vice president had committed many “faux pas,” in fact, many torts or civil wrongs.  One of these, of course, was the outing of Valerie Plame, a CIA employee (not an agent) in an effort to exact revenge on the lady’s husband.  As usual, in a Fitzgerald prosecution, what was the only crime committed by poor Libby?  You guessed it: “lying to a federal prosecutor!”  Unlike the dolts in Congress, Fitzgerald would make a big deal about the “horrible” insult of lying to Him, an important federal prosecutor.  As usual, it was all he had.  It seems to be all he ever has!

To convict Libby, take away his livelihood, throw him in prison for a few years, to succeed, Fitzgerald, known as “an honest bulldog,” would never stoop to suborning perjury, the method of choice adopted by fellow federal prosecutors Leura Canary, Alice Martin, and Louis Franklin.  Unlike these well known prostitutes, Fitzgerald, more honorable than most, chose to protect the vice-president by not presenting most of his most viable witnesses.  The foolish jury, instead of demanding: “Where’s the Beef?” took the quick and easy way out, convicting Libby of “lying to the prosecutor.”  Thus did Scooter Libby, perhaps Dick Cheney’s only honorable associate, become the sacrificial lamb for the entire administration.

I remember when Rod Blogojevich was first thrust into the limelight and it was announced that “pretty boy “ Patrick Fitzgerald and other holdovers from the Junior Bush “Injustice Department” were on his case.  I was asked what I thought of the investigation and prosecution of the governor.  All I could say was: “ the only way Fitzgerald can convict him is if he charges him with “lying to the prosecutor.”  If they decide to try Blogo again, maybe next time, the “Incompetents” will think to bring some witnesses for a change.

Allen Finkelstein, D.O.