H.stupidis Virus Revisited
Last night I had a vision, at least I thought I did. I saw what we, in the Judaeo-Christian-Muslim cultures, call “the host of heaven” in a huge uproar over the identification of the worst of all faults. I could hear bits and pieces of their debate. “Greed!” shouted an anonymous angel. “Lust!” answered another. A little cherub suggested “lying.”
“Bad faith!” yelled one of the seraphim. Suddenly, a hush came over the whole proceeding as the archangel Gabriel appeared. The answer, he said, was somewhat complicated. He had talked with G-d and still they could not say for certain if the answer were “ignorance” or “stupidity.”
In the end, they decided that though the answer was “ignorance,” it could be overcome, unless it were accompanied by “stubbornness,” the ignorant refusing to overcome their ignorance. This combination they had decided to call “stupidity.” Clearly this form of stupidity was the most lethal. Its cause was still unclear. As I was awakening, I thought I could hear Gabriel asking the Lord if, perhaps, profound stupidity, unlike the congenital variety, could be caused by a virus? His boss, wanting to help, but not to make it too easy for them, suggested studying the little known Herpeticus stupidis virus.
Apparently, the virus strikes, overwhelms certain segments of the population, then succumbs to what is commonly called “herd immunity.” Certain groups are apparently more susceptible than others, perhaps due to direct exposure. For instance, studies show that there was a serious outbreak among Tea Party members that went untreated. It seems to have heavily infected the Freedom Caucus, the victims either directly involved with the Tea Party or significantly exposed to some of its members. Studies indicate that infection with the virus is seldom fatal, however it can have lasting effects.
The most current research indicates possible spread to Progressive members of Congress due to excessive amounts of time spent arguing with Freedom Caucus members. Both groups are constantly at each other's throats instead of talking with their opponents’ constituency. The Caucus membership desperately wishes things could be like they were in pre- Civil War times and many Progressives want to create a Utopia without paying for it. For the most part, their constituencies lie somewhere in between.
Progressives, under the influence of H. stupidis, managed to pass a civil rights bill that certain virus free senators like Barry Goldwater reluctantly refused to approve because, though it was well intentioned, was not strictly constitutional. When an ultra-conservative Supreme Court struck down some of the clearly well intentioned, but unconstitutional provisions, many Progressives were, nonetheless, dumbfounded. The same thing occurred when the same High Court struck down the President’s clearly unconstitutional student loan buyback program. In both cases, under the long term effects of H. stupidis, many legislators could not fathom that no matter how moral well meaning legislation is, to last, it needs to be better researched, better written, and better understood. As is too often the case, Congress does not put in quite the time, the dedication and especially the intelligence, to properly write a law.
Then there are the acute H. stupidis syndrome victims like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert, temporarily needing assistance with their signatures and with very odd phrases (even for them) passing their lips, utterances that have been cut off from the appropriate synapses in the brain. Admittedly, these individuals, however, did start out at something of a congenital disadvantage even before their encounter with the virus.
Others, like the members of the DNC, seem to have passed on the virus from generation to generation. In 2000 the DNC, by neglecting to review the ill-fated Florida “butterfly ballot” before the election, cost their candidate, Al Gore, thousands of votes in Palm Beach County and with them, the presidential election. In 2020, the very popular Bill Nelson lost his Florida Senate seat to unindicted co-conspirator, Rick Scott because, again, the DNC failed to review the flawed butterfly ballot in Broward County. It seems that thousands of people in the heavily Democratic county failed to vote for anyone for Senator. The vote was buried under a long column of instructions which most voters don’t bother to read, a column, though technically “legal,” is recommended, even by the federal election board, to be avoided in the construction of a ballot. No one knows how many elections could be saved if the incompetent “Committee” would make it a habit to simply review the ballots before elections. Unfortunately, it seems that one of the most common symptoms of the virus seems to be an aversion to “preventive treatment.”
Al Finkelstein, D.O., 8/9/23